The homework assignment I gave myself on this book was as follows:
How are the matters of Kolbell's first 5 chapters--Restoration, Rebirth, Reconciliation, Remembrance and Redemption--related?And here's my answer to this essay question:
For Kolbell,
restoration refers to restoration of relationship with God (though it could refer to restoring
any
personal relationship): "We recognize," Kolbell writes, "that our
relationship with God is one of exile and restoration...of picking
ourselves up where we have fallen, accepting the Divine second chance,
and trying again to live in concert with our higher angels rather than
our lower impulses" (page ix). In order for restoration to begin, there
must be a "recognition that one is in exile"--which to me means one is
perhaps living in an imbalanced way, has a heart hardened by ingratitude
and miserliness. Eventually the misery--and isolation--of such a state
of soul leads to a yearning for a restoration of relationship (with
God)--a restoration of: "[1] a sense of *balance* to our lives, [2] a
sense of *gratitude* to God for what we have and
[3] *generosity* to others for what they do not have" (pages 7-8).
Initiation of restoration requires a kind of
rebirth,
though Kalbell clarifies wisely: "Rebirth," he writes, "is not so much a
moment but a mind-set" (page 17). It's not just a single
once-and-for-all-moment; instead, it's "a recurring choice that presents
itself at every turn...we choose to believe that God is in our hearts
or He's not" (page 23). And what does it mean to be "reborn"? What does
it mean to have God in our hearts? Well, since "God is love" (I John
4:8), the choice for rebirth is a choice to embody a "love that is
patient and kind, not jealous or boastful, not arrogant or rude; a love
that does not insist on its own way, and does not rejoice in wrong; a
love that bears all things, hopes all things, and endures all things (I
Corinthians 13:4-7)" (page 23).
Needless to say, the choice to
be reborn--to embody a selfless love like this--is much easier said than
actually done. Small wonder that the choice of rebirth must be made at
every moment!
Small wonder, too, that
maintaining such a "mind-set of rebirth" requires contrived
remembrance--prompted,
perhaps, by regular rituals (prayers, meditations, meetings with one's
fellowship or support-group). Because "[o]ur memories are fickle and
fleeting...without [the] discipline [of remembering rituals], the memory
of the [I]mportant [T]hing will lie buried among the unpaid bills, the
runny noses and the dirty laundry" (page 46). In 12 Step Groups, mention
is made of an addict's
"built-in forgetter"
that makes it all too easy to forget the horrors of the last go-around
with alcohol or drugs. Without deliberate remembrance, it's all too easy
to make choices that lead to (re-)exile from God.
And
reconciliation?
Well, it would be a rare thing if, during the misery of exile, one
didn't also damage one's relationships with people. Hence the hope of
reconciliation (with others) as one seeks restoration of one's
relationship with God.
For Kolbell, the two parts of initiation of reconciliation are
confession of the transgressions one has committed, and an attempt to
atone
for those sins. (Even if the wronged person knows how they were sinned
against, it still probably helps for the wrongdoer to "confess" the
sins--in the sense of taking full responsibility for them.) Kolbell
illustrates this by Jacob's confession, and gesture of atonement to, his
brother Esau as Genesis 32:10-14 (pages 33-34). A similar dynamic can
be found in 12 Step Groups: one
confesses at
Step 5: "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. And an attempt at
atonement occurs at
Step 9: "Made direct amends, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
Of
course, there is no guarantee that such efforts will yield
reconciliation with the wronged party--or even forgiveness by the person
who has been wronged. But that's to be expected--and accepted; because,
as the Big Book counsels,
confession and atonement are simply intended "to sweep off our side of
the street...it should not matter...if [the wronged person] does throw
us out of his office. We have...done our part" (
Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 77-78).
Postscript: Which brings us to
redemption,
meaning a deliverance from bondage (page 54). Once we have been
delivered from the slavery of exile--whether the bondage be physical,
behavioral or mental--what then? Beware: There's no guarantee that this
deliverance will persist; redemption is not self-propelled.
12-Steppers speak of the constant threat of "relapse"--of turning one's back on redemption and returning to addictive ways.
Thus
Kolbell points out the "paradox of redemption...it comes to us in our
weakness but [its persistence] is dependent of our strength. We are
brought out of slavery by another, but when the cuffs are off it is our
responsibility to keep them off" (page 60). How often is redemption only
a temporary detour--that the redeemed stick with the program "until
doubt overcomes faith or weakness gets the better of strength...until
[one] tire[s] of the journey and all its privations...until a
better[-seeming] offer comes along" (page 56)? How important it is that
one's Spirit of Redemption be renewed daily--by ritual, by devoted
remembrance, by fellowships and support-groups with others who have been
similarly redeemed.
(What would be intriguing would be to
extend the foregoing ideas to include other 7 "Re-"-concepts:
Revelation, Resurrection, Reflection, Religion, Receiving, Retreat, and
Revival. To be continued...)
