I've been reading books of this genre for 20 years. The first one I read
was Caroline Knapp's "Drinking: A Love Story" (1996). As it turns out,
Sarah Hepola was reading Knapp, too: "I read Caroline Knapp's [book]
three times, with tears dripping down my cheeks and a glass of white
wine in my hand....and I would think, 'Yes, yes, she gets it'" (page
143).
It should come as no surprise, then, that despite the
15-year gap between their experiences (Knapp was born in 1959; Hepola in
1974), the shapes of their addictive spirals have a number of twists in
common: Turning to alcohol to silence the "inner critic" and "pinwheel
of anxiety" (pages 23, 93); The blackouts becoming increasingly common;
watching life become one crisis after another; having friends share
their concern, then distance themselves from the drama (pages 76-78,
156-160); Hitting bottom (pages 131-132) and then getting better (with a
love/hate relationship with 12 Step Groups [pages 141-143]).
Hepola's
memoir illustrates the truth of the old drinker's couplet: "Alcohol
gave me wings to fly / And then it took away the sky." In gritty and
vivid detail, Hepola shares alcohol's insidious Boomerang Effect: How
she drank, at first, to bridge her anxious distance from people--but
eventually found people, anxious over her drinking, distancing
themselves from her (Chapter 8); How drinking, at first, gave her a
carefree attitude--but eventually robbed her of the ability to practice
daily self-caretaking (Chapter 9); How drinking, at first, helped her
say "yes" to sex--but eventually robbed her of the presence of mind and
integrity to say "no" when she needed to (Chapter 10); How drinking, at
first, seemed to enable her creativity by stifling her "inner critic"--
but eventually robbed her of a writer's most necessary tools:
observation, relflection, and memory (Chapter 11).
Hepola's book
grips the heart and doesn't let go. Her gift as a writer carries us
through the perils with her: we feel her anxiety, her pain, her
confusion, but also, when she finds her way out of the chaos, we feel
her strength, as well. I have no doubt that her book will be helpful to
others facing similar problems--just as Caroline Knapp's book helped
Hepola realize she wasn't alone in what she was feeling.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1537720375
