What does it mean to lose one's childhood? Is there a way to reclaim lost childhood? These
are the pivotal questions at the heart of Poston and Lison's insightful and sensitive account of incest and its survivors.
The first six chapters painfully recount case-studies of incest-survivors, describing their experiences. In essence, an incestuous childhood is a *lost* childhood (Chapter 3). The predictable consequences of this lost childhood include trust-issues (Chapter 4), a lack of self-esteem, and a feeling of unsafe powerlessness (Chapter 5). The adult consequences of this poisonous triad of losses is obvious: lacking a sense of safety, lacking an ability to trust, lacking self-esteem, the adult survivor of incest is handicapped in her ability to live up to her God-given potential--to become the Best Person they can be.
We can put this in terms of Maslow's famous "Hierarchy of Needs." Without Safety, a person lacks the second level of Personal Needs. Without trust, a person is handicapped in their ability to build fulfilling Relationships--i.e., the third level of Maslow's Pyramid. And without a sense of durable self-esteem, the adult survivor of incest is left without a sense of Purpose (which is the fourth level of Personal Needs). Since the fifth, highest level of personal needs--Self-Actualization--depends upon the fulfillment of the previous levels of Personal Needs, it's unsurprising that the survivor of incest encounters serious Problems of Living in adulthood.
The book's remaining two chapters turn to how the damages of an incestuous childhood might be healed. Chapter 7 lists "Steps of Growth" for the survivor to assimilate and aim for--with the help of a counselor and/or a support group. And Chapter 8 lists a set of 26 A-through-Z practices (pp. 218-257) which comprise a Life in Recovery.
This book is insightful--not just for survivors of incest, but for anyone whose childhood scars have left them with trust-issues and fragile self-esteem. I'd gladly read this book again.
are the pivotal questions at the heart of Poston and Lison's insightful and sensitive account of incest and its survivors.
The first six chapters painfully recount case-studies of incest-survivors, describing their experiences. In essence, an incestuous childhood is a *lost* childhood (Chapter 3). The predictable consequences of this lost childhood include trust-issues (Chapter 4), a lack of self-esteem, and a feeling of unsafe powerlessness (Chapter 5). The adult consequences of this poisonous triad of losses is obvious: lacking a sense of safety, lacking an ability to trust, lacking self-esteem, the adult survivor of incest is handicapped in her ability to live up to her God-given potential--to become the Best Person they can be.
We can put this in terms of Maslow's famous "Hierarchy of Needs." Without Safety, a person lacks the second level of Personal Needs. Without trust, a person is handicapped in their ability to build fulfilling Relationships--i.e., the third level of Maslow's Pyramid. And without a sense of durable self-esteem, the adult survivor of incest is left without a sense of Purpose (which is the fourth level of Personal Needs). Since the fifth, highest level of personal needs--Self-Actualization--depends upon the fulfillment of the previous levels of Personal Needs, it's unsurprising that the survivor of incest encounters serious Problems of Living in adulthood.
The book's remaining two chapters turn to how the damages of an incestuous childhood might be healed. Chapter 7 lists "Steps of Growth" for the survivor to assimilate and aim for--with the help of a counselor and/or a support group. And Chapter 8 lists a set of 26 A-through-Z practices (pp. 218-257) which comprise a Life in Recovery.
This book is insightful--not just for survivors of incest, but for anyone whose childhood scars have left them with trust-issues and fragile self-esteem. I'd gladly read this book again.
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