It should come as no surprise, then, that despite the 15-year gap between their experiences (Knapp was born in 1959; Hepola in 1974), the shapes of their addictive spirals have a number of twists in common: Turning to alcohol to silence the "inner critic" and "pinwheel of anxiety" (pages 23, 93); The blackouts becoming increasingly common; watching life become one crisis after another; having friends share their concern, then distance themselves from the drama (pages 76-78, 156-160); Hitting bottom (pages 131-132) and then getting better (with a love/hate relationship with 12 Step Groups [pages 141-143]).
Hepola's memoir illustrates the truth of the old drinker's couplet: "Alcohol gave me wings to fly / And then it took away the sky." In gritty and vivid detail, Hepola shares alcohol's insidious Boomerang Effect: How she drank, at first, to bridge her anxious distance from people--but eventually found people, anxious over her drinking, distancing themselves from her (Chapter 8); How drinking, at first, gave her a carefree attitude--but eventually robbed her of the ability to practice daily self-caretaking (Chapter 9); How drinking, at first, helped her say "yes" to sex--but eventually robbed her of the presence of mind and integrity to say "no" when she needed to (Chapter 10); How drinking, at first, seemed to enable her creativity by stifling her "inner critic"-- but eventually robbed her of a writer's most necessary tools: observation, relflection, and memory (Chapter 11).
Hepola's book grips the heart and doesn't let go. Her gift as a writer carries us through the perils with her: we feel her anxiety, her pain, her confusion, but also, when she finds her way out of the chaos, we feel her strength, as well. I have no doubt that her book will be helpful to others facing similar problems--just as Caroline Knapp's book helped Hepola realize she wasn't alone in what she was feeling.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1537720375
